a draft post that needs to be publish..written maybe 4 years ago..wahahahhaa

for the last few days im still on vacation mode...demo..i have to work...just came from a short trip to the phils..one week to be exact....and celebrated my birthday there...hihihihi

it was quite a fruitful vacation though very short..i promise myself i will make it longer next time... enough for me to eat all those Filipino foods I have missed...

hmmm it was good trip i can say...i was hesitant at first to go with shanghai-manila route of cebu pacific because it will arrive in manila 4 am(i dont really want to arrive on early morning)...but i had no choice ..but it turned out okay..i was not disappointed like i expected it to be...first, the airplane was not full..the passengers can transfer seats..and i did sleep lying on one row of the plane for the rest of the flight..hehehehe..second i thought it would be a long journey..it was supposed to be a 4 hour flight but we made it in 3 hours or so...and thank God i was not quarantined...bwahaha.because when i came home..my sister already warned that they detained for 5 days just for quarantine....because of the swine flu and mind you...i arrived earlier than pacquiao but its a different terminal(wahaha isingit ba)...

here are few good things that made my vacation fruitful...

- i was able to travel to my hometown in visayas after 6 years, smelled fresh air from the country side, got to see my granny..though she didn't recognize me at first..but i didn't take it against her...i know its part of getting old...

- i was able to finally see and get together again with someone who have a special place in my heart hehehe though it was short....im glad i can confidently say I HAVE MOVE FORWARD...i know I only see him as a friend whom i dearly loved before...

- meet beng-chan..hihhi..i did really enjoy our time together..gomen ne..im such a blabber especially when talking about our ichiban tegoshi..wahahaha..thanks for the compiled videos and of course the fanvid...of my OTP Tegomassu...arigatou gozaimasu...

- ride Philippine Airlines aircrafts ahhahaha finally..and they have cute cabin attendants....(^-^)..now i wanted to ride Japan Air Lines and Korean Air Lines..heehe...


- i finally have the book memoirs of a teenage amnesiac in my hand..hehehe..but i forgot to buy any twilight book..*sighs*..

- meet my old buddies hehehe...demo..why don't i always get a cake on my birthday...hahaha...i was hoping i would blow some candles this year but wasn't able to *sad face*


since i have only limited time i wasn't able to able to meet people that i was supposed to..katie-chan gomen ne....i'll make sure when i go home again later this year..you will be the first one i will meet...

mama jade...err..sorry for my katangahan..hehehe..you are waiting for me in terminal 1 while i was in terminal 2..we missed each other...*sayang....


oh im also sad i did not get the chance to watch the concert of the two DAVIDS of American idol..

on fandom..gee..i miss the tegojin war..when i came back online all people are pissed over it...

ATADAN is a good series..I SO LOVE MAKI here....and yamamoto yusuke gets so lucky getting hugged by maki-chan(im jealous)....hahahaha....if you haven't check out this maki series..you are missing a lot...MAKI's ADORABLE and PRETTY here even in dirty make up...

and kudos to all fanfic writers...especially ryotego romance...you make me fall in love too much with these two guys...but still my OTP is TEGOMASSU(*sighs* I NEED TO SEE THEIR RABUNESS)...nande nande why did the Sweden concert got cancelled..hehee...

did it again

haahahaha...wow now it will be become an annual thingy...but oh well..i am not really practicing writing online hahaha..not sure why hahaha..

it was surprising to see my post last year..how long it has been..it will be 10 years in 2016...am i not still over you...and  i wonder did i accelerate myself from last year with regards to work..hmmm maybe i did..hahahaa

today i rant on my other blog about work..hmmm should i share my thoughts on my family here...
on positive note..we got a new home...hahaha..finally after all the efforts and help from my siblings..but of course i am still the major contributor..

last monday, i called my father to talk to them and just want to know how they are..it really clutched my heart when my mother started crying and told me about my brother being able to treat his friends to a mcdonalds or maybe drinks..but not even buying my father his milk...and then they started to compare again my generosity...it distracted me until this day..i havent talked to them again even though i am planning to do a family outing when i go home this may just over the weekend...

i know its the biggest issue in my family..of having a sister like me..for my family i am the biggest achiever..my siblings have to measure up to me..i am the point of comparison of my parents...i only realised it recently when i have matured...so sometimes i try to fill the gap by giving them presents materially...but well it doesn't help...my parents still feel..i am the most generous among my siblings..

for me i am not generous..i only give when i have to take something..but enihow..its been boggling me for a long time..how to take these things and talked it out with my sister and brothers...because well..we are not used to opening up our feelings to our family..i know for a fact we will confide in friends more than our parents and sisters..lucky me..my sister and i share some thoughts...
i want to use this blog to have write what i want to say to my brothers and sister...


mga kapatid...first of all thank you for taking care of our parents while i am out of country..maraming salamat at sinasamahan nio sila..

sorry sa mga pagkakataong nadisappoint ko kayo at di kayo natulungan...mapafinancial or moral support man lang..sorry kung minsan you feel di same ang treatment ko sa inyo...ika nga nafefeel nio na may favoritism ako...pasensia na..i always try my best na kung may ibigay sa isa ay mabibigyan ko lahat...pero tao lang..

sa totoo lang..for all these years..wala akong inisip kundi pano matutulungan kayo..pano matutulungan sila nanay...oo napapasaya ko sarili ko..pero di pwedeng dikau kasama sana nga mayaman na lang tayo para di worried sa pera..but Thank God..safe at healthy naman taung lahat..it took me 10 years to finally realize one of my dreams ang magkaroon ng sariling bahay..with of course the help ninyo...indi ako kumuha ng malaking bahay at tigiisang kwarto tau kasi alam ko...sooner or later magkakaroon din kayo ng sariling family...or may sarili na kayong pamilya..actually yung bahay is for nanay and tatay's peace of mind..worried sila kapag pinaalis na sa broadway..wala rin naman silang bahay sa jabong..so eto may bahay na tau..Thank God...

meron lang akong gustong hingin na favor sa inyo...kung maari sana...wag nio pasamain ang loob ni nanay at tatay...or paiyakin si nanay at tatay...alam ko...may mga pagkukulang sila sa inyo...at may kanya kanya kayong hinanakit sa kanila..pero magulang pa rin natin sila..nagsikap pa rin sila para makapag aral tayo di man nakatapos ang iba sa atin at may pagkain na ihahapag sa atin....respeto at pagaalaga lang pwede nating isukli sa mga sacrifices nila...maswerte pa rin tau buhay sila...at natutulungan tau kapag kinakailangan...si tatay kahit pagod sa trabaho..magdrive ng ibang tao..kapag kelangan taung sunduin sinusundo tau...si nanay..kahit naglalaba or kelangan magluto ng baon natin nagbabasa ng kamay kahit nagplantsa ng damit..

kung may mga times na di nasusunod gusto nio or nagkakamali sila wag nio naman sigawan..at ipamukha sa kanila na mas mataas pinagaralan nio...sila pa rin ang instrumento ni Lord para ilabas tau sa mundo at makapag aral...at makarating sa lugar natin ngaun

matuto naman taung magappreciate ng mga ginagawa nila for us..ilibre nio lang sila ng food or ilabas or bilhan ng gatas at gamot matutuwa na sila sa inyo at mafefeel nila importante sila sa atin..

sana kung pano nio ilibre mga kaibigan nio sa mcdonalds at inuman kaya nio rin gawin sa kanila...kasi ang bottom line in the end..magulang pa rin ang magwoworry at sasalo sau sa oras ng kagipitan..

at sana wag kayong masyadong madamot kapag nanghingi sila ng pera..oo di naman natin obligasyon magbigay ng pera sa kanila..kasi tau rin naman nakikinabang di naman nila pinangsusugal...pinambibili rin ng food para sa mga tao sa bahay....at nakakahingi din naman kau ng pera sa kanila kapag needs  you...

i need to forget you

*sighs*..i should be sleeping getting ready for my beauty rest and keep my mind relax..but i sent you a comment in FB...greeting you merry christmas and a happy new year...and yes..a safe trip..

how long will i keep you in my heart..do i really need someone physically to forget you..why am i holding on to you...i know...its my fault..whatever...that i have lost your friendship..or maybe i am just too much reacting.....i should never be guilty...about what happened..i fell in love..told you..and got rejected..what is else is there..and well i guess..you are one of a kind...

i need to forget you..i need to move on....even as a friend i dont think you see me as one..i am only one of the few acquaitances you have met in your 27 years of life...and my chapter with you has been finished...i should have accepted it a long time ago...

if i ever got the chance to be hired to our company before..i pray..it will be long time before i see you....though i think its okay to see you before you go somewhere...lets see if i can do it..and does not become a coward...

MOVE ON MOVE ON MOVE FORWARD....

i love you still but i need to forget you....