hopefully the post title is appropriate for whatever i will blabber today...
time flies fast..october is ending..and im going back home to the Phils for a vacation...wahehee...and visit Bohol..looking forward to spending time with my family and friends and the expenses not so much...
ummm..i need to update my lj header and my blog header...oh i will someday :D
i have been thinking recently...how my friendships are going on these days..two years ago..i have met the most wonderful people in tegomasu fandom...flailing with them..and talking nonstop...i have few friends in fandom..but i dont share just fandom with. them..even some personal things....out of the 5 to 6 people that closest..i have met half of them personally...i think 2 or 3 only remains....
as technology changes and our lives become busier and we have adored other fandoms..somehow we drifted apart..i still say hi to them..but we don't really chat that long like the way before...part of me missed it...and a part of me..told me..this is the time move on...for the longest i have considered myself a loner...hahaha...this was probably after i left acn and then move to headstrong..and fell inlove with my friend..hahahaha...i know i have compared my previous friendship with him with all the friends and people i have met along the way..and i think that was too sad..because somehow i kept my heart on guard...
its been a long time since i really feel wonderful happy that i don't care if i look like a fool..i wanna feel that again.....there's something inside that is missing that even my favorite boys cannot fill in...i feel like i have wasted my life for the last 6 years...though that is debatable...recently i promised myself to socialize more..with the right people..i mean i still have to careful who to tag along with..because i am easily influenced...will the day come again...that someone will consider me his/her closest friend....am i expecting too much...
i don't want to be known as someone who just go with the flow...but also i am always afraid of being a possessive friend...*sighs*..i really don't know what to do..but i hope to God..i can feel that happiness again...the feeling that you are never lonely because you have a friend or someone i can lean to..
to all my friends whom i have lost, have forgotten and so far away...i always believe..that someday our paths will cross again..don't forget to smile when you see..and i will be glad...
to all my friends, RL or OL..thank you for being part of me..i wouldn't have be able to stand at this time without you along the way..thank you for being in my life...once upon time...:D