it hurts….

I know just the other day..i was smiling happily telling myself that I have fallen in love again my favorite pretty boy again…but the feeling did not last long..after creating the crack post in my LJ…the next day I read the Sapporo fanreports…it does kinda make me disappointed on some parts..it seems the magic of Osaka was gone…oh well..i guess here I go again reading too much..waaaaaaaaaaah…please give me back my sanity tegomasu……give me back my broken heart….

my friend linked me to a translation from a recent magazine scan…my heart went out when I read massu's love message to tegoshi

A love message for Massu by Tegoshi

A "love message"? (lol). Ok, since we're going to be together for 2 full months in 35 stages maybe some hard times will come too but I really want to do my best. With the rehearsal they will be 3 months...yoroshiku onegaishimasu!

A love message for Tegoshi by Massu

Maybe this is the longest time I'll spend together with Tegoshi after Tegomasu Matsuri, there I was able to see all the various side of Tegoshi (lol). Since we're going to spend a long time together again I want to know again a lot of things that I don't know about Tegoshi. Please, teach me (lol).

the whole message of Massu made my heart burst with sadness..it hurts..i even cry…its makes me so sad…that really..my OTP…is really just two random people who were put together and smile for the camera or fans….i know I am slowly accepting the fact they can't be koyashige….and I know..there is something between them that makes them click together…but i can't help but feel sad and hurt reading massu's love message to tegoshi …why massu…you're 3 years too late…tegoshi has grown up….though oh well I am such a possessive onee-san that sometimes I don't like the way he growed up….but still I love him anyway..even with his monstrous hair…

before the start of your tour..i was feeling sad and disappointed…I did not expect anything from you..but then the Osaka fanreports and the papa pics came out..as I have said in previous entry..its been a long time since I saw tegoshi smiled like that..i am not sure why though…I should never expect besides performing your act well not even fanservice from you tegomasu….because expectations leads to disappointments..leading to heartaches..i have to convince myself..this is all an act….you are two good singers that harmonized so nicely together…*sighs*….

i think i fell in love with you again my FAVE pretty boy!!!

i think for a long time now..all i do is whine on the lack of tegomasu fanservice..but actually they don't really do much fanservice..ever since they started singing together...its just i really love them...that they look comfortable together....like old friends...when they something or nothing..it makes my fangirl's heart squeal and flail...well if its their VOICES..that's another topic..hehehehe

so since dreamboys..i think i noticed the lack of how do you call errr..my expected interaction of tegomasu...it seems despite them working together more...it seems they are more far from each other....

i was not able to watched the tegomasu no ai tour this year..all this time i said to myself..and everyone who listens to me ..the irony of it all..their tour is about love...but somehow i can;t see it when they are in SOUKON....i think i've got tons of private posts just whining about this topic....hahahhaha...

reading rumors about tegoshi having a blonde girlfriend did not help even..but i am okay now..i know he is a healthy hormonal boy..so he will be taken and will have girlfriend who loves him....i even think massu does have a girlfriend too..though some people might think otherwise....hihihi...

from their first tour last year..after having met fangirls i can flail with..i tried to read or rather analyze their pictures or how they look on videos...i was really disappointed for a time with tegoshi..not only does he look tired..it seems he is exasperated with massu...errr..im just reading too much into it...probably if they are within my reach..they will probably laugh at my own assumptions...

so until like some magazine photoshoots..not only im whining about tegomasu not being on same page and not pictured together....even if they are pictured together..there is something missing....aarrrghh...i even told myself to give up on them after the tour...(but that was just me..i dont think i will be able to do it) XDDD

so during the weekend which is the start of their tour...im excitedly waiting for fanreports...anything that is related to their tours...and tadannnnn..IT WAS MORE THAN I EXPECTED.....i flail like hard with keithly for 4 hours on voice chat....everyone online i flailed with them...because seriously...based from the fanreports..the concert is amazing and funnn...and then came the PAPA PICSSSSSSSSSSSSS>....dkjfsdf'sdf;s'fds...

the near face picture made me squeal in delightttttttttt...then...massu groping tegoshiiiiiiii..wwas purre pure fangirl's squeal....i told myself..they are fanservice...i dont care if they are fanservice...what i like is that their faces radiates the enjoyment...i don't even care the monstrous hair you have tegoshi..my favorite pretty boy..just seeing you smiling brightly..GAWDDD..I MISS YOU SMILING LIKE THAT..ITS BEEN A LONG TIME...AND I THINK I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU AGAIN...THOUGH NOT AS LIKE BEFORE..

KEEP ON SMILING LIKE THAT MY FAVORITE PRETTY BOY..YOUR SMILE IS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I REALLY LOVE ABOUT YOU!!