weee

weee...i decided to try talking to you again online..congratulated you on an achievement..i know you have worked hard to receive...

i didn't realize it was a long time since i really take time to talk to you...and I MISSED YOU..you don't know how much...its one of the biggest regret i have in life more than being conned by a friend and resigning from my previous company..when will this stop...i thought i was over you..but anytime i see you in social networks..it all came back to me...i wanted to be close to you again..but i know its too late..some of the things cannot be returned back..i know that..i should really move forward...i dont think i have that special feeling for you anymore..the more than friend feeling...i think i just missed being your friend..

and this my song for you...

Opened my mouth
it all rushed out spoken
though i never meant you to know it
I was stalling myself and got held in the moment
Without even knowing,
I stopped and got lost in my mind
I've never felt so unraveled in my whole life
I said i love you i love you i love you
But now i regret it
I said i love you i love you i love you
But i'm sorry i said it
But what's done is done,
I can't undo what's done
Don't want to hurt this thing we've just begun
i know i've said it, but can we forget this
I Taught myself but I'm scared that we're broken
Though you never could see it coming
And i
Dont know what my or how our hearts are hoping
My feelings are showing
I stopped and got lost in your eyes
I never thought you could make me so alive
I said i love you i love you i love you
But now i regret it
I said i love you i love you i love you
But i'm sorry i said it
What's done is done,
I can't undo what's done
Don't want to hurt this thing we've just begun
i know i said it, but can we forget this
Now i'm hoping
Your hearts open
Words unfolded
Now you know and
I couldn't hold it all inside
Push it back in to rewind;
Now my Secrets spoken
said i love you i love you i love you
But now i regret it
I said i love you i love you i love you
But i'm sorry i said it
What's done is done,
I can't undo what's done
Don't wanna hurt this thing we've just begun
i know i've said it, but can we forget this
i said i love you i love you i love you
but now i regret it(now i regret it)
i said i love you i love you i love you
but i'm sorry i said it(i'm sorry i said it)
But what's done is done,
I can't undo what's done
Don't want to hurt this thing we've just begun(just begun oooh)
i know i've said it, but can we forget this(can we forget this)
i love you and now i regret
i love you i'm sorry i've said it
i love you and now i regret
i love you i'm sorry i've said it

why oh why

sometimes i really hate myself being affected like this over fandom things..but well..i am a fangirl..maybe i will just stick to reading fanfictions..because somehow fanfictions gave me what i asked for..

i have read a fanreport about the last concert of tegomasu..i am not actually pissed off at tegomasu..somehow despite my grievances and rant before the tour...it was all forgotten when i read an objective fanreport...and well basing from the pictures i saw...my favorite boys has indeed had a lot of fun and memories to cherished for...

okay first...im really pissed at the one who write the fanrep..we know her biasness..but well..her fanreps really rubbed me off wrong...and he is one of the many reasons...now..that..i loathe having a lot of friends on LJ...and the truth is...i was envious of her before when she watched tegomasu no uta last year..but now...everytime i read something from i totally expected it to be tegoshi biased...you can see the difference..in the way she describes tegoshi passionately while its like nonchalance on massu..i understand she doesn't like massu...but anyway...

i just realized...as i stay longer in the fandom...it turns out..i really like TegoMasu better....even if you gave me NEWS...i will watch it because there's tegomasu....i will support the album they will released because...i am one of those who waited for them..but i am not sure..if will still support them next time....

aaahhh....fandom fandom again...............