i always tell myself not procastinate and try to write as much as i can..but well..it doesn't happen right...hahahaha
enihow...i think from the last post i made..quite a few things have happened to me..and now i am on my way of being dc to perm..hehehe..THANK GOD for this wonderful blessing.
now i am writing but too many thought can across my mind i don't even know where to begin...
my family..i have always love them...though i feel sometimes i didnt enough..i measure my love for them for all the materials i have given to them..and looking at the family of my friends..makes me feel..i have not done enough...sometimes i feel closer to my friends than my family..most of my closest friends knows what bugs me...i am not sure if its because i dont want to burden my family...my parents are getting old...not sure what to they want in life..but i know a permanent home will make peace with them..i hope this time i can make this come true...for me and my family...
my job...its always fascinate me to see people who believes in me..and makes me realize how i never think of myself much..in this organization i am now..im glad..there are lot of Filipino coworkers..but sometimes i dont know how to accelerate myself...i need to have confidence in myself...
my fandom...they are still the same LOL...
i want to write something about my so called love with an old friend...we're friends in FB but doesnt really talk that much..sometimes i feel like i still have feelings for him...because i still feel awkward trying to catch up things...but i think..we have really grown apart...
recently...i sometimes think what i did back then...confessing my love and being ignored a little a lol...and it made me laugh and smile..i find the situation funny..then i read something...about being in love with an effeminate guy or gay...its a christian related answer and real life..that makes me think its right...girls like me who have fallen in love with a gay person are under the illusion that we can make them love us..more than friends..but the reality is it is impossible,,,,because they already know who they like and love...and it made me think..ah...even if we didnt part in a good way and might not be good friends anymore...it was something that will always be a good lesson to me..and thank you for Rissa's Love Handles for confirming it...
rev...thank you very much for being a wonderful friend and co worker to me during that time...you have made my stay with UPS more fun and interesting and memorable..you're still one of a kind..i have never known someone again as much as i know you(its only a little you know)..it makes me smile to see all your dreams are coming true..i do hope you have someone to share it with you...kahit di naman requirement yun..i am sorry...for that confession of love...it made things awkward after that...but thank you rin for not really taking it seriously..i am sorry for leaving you too..sayang i was not there to see you spread your wings but i know you deserve all of it..sometimes i feel like i miss you..because wala pa akong nakilalang tulad mo at nakakajamming ng tulad before..all through the years..minsan gusto ko kitang makita out of nowhere lang...para lang sabihin sau..oi kamusta ka na rev...pero siguro matagal pa ulit magkita hahaha...siguro pagdi ko na mararamdaman na awkward ako sau..hahahaa...dont worry love as friend na lang natitira sa akin..you are one of the few friends na nakilala kong tumatak sa puso ko...actually dream kong kumanta ka sa wedding ko...lol..na ewan ko kung mangyayari ba hahaha...lol...thanks you ulit..
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