goodbye 2011

its the last day of 2011..in just a few hours hello 2012...i am not sure if this post will be a recap of what happened to me in 2011 or just plain blog thingy...hehhehehee

2011 has been one bumpy journey for me...until the end of the march...i was not working...then finally i got work..meeting new friends and new people...they made this journey more interesting..but somehow something is missing...i am missing my overseas life despite me being alone there...this is one part of my life that should be changed in 2012..i need to work overseas again...

financially...i get by...i have debts from friends..but somehow i manage to pay them...well my family is struggling still the best way to deal with budgeting our money with the addition of new family to us..but oh well..money is money...right now..im currently trying to read some articles on personal finance...my application for a tourist visa to japan triggered this strongly since i was not granted a visa...with that i decided i need to prove that i am capable...and will apply again by the 3rd quarter of 2012...

my fandom...before i write this post..just checking out some stuff hehehe...well i am praying for success for 4NIN NEWS and TEGOMASU..as well as Zhou mi and Kyuhun(i am so waiting for SJM comeback..because separated QMI and indifferent QMI is no no to me..please)...errr as for YongSeo..i am not sure how my support materialized because there is no chance they will be together since both are from popular groups...hehehehe..eniweis..anything can happen...

and you...hmmm i sometimes catch your updates in FB...traveling and shopping...then saw your picture...you aged...errr not beautifully....i am still undecided if i should proceed befriending you like before despite the huge gap we have....but somehow after thinking about it...i'll let it go..i will just leave it to fate what will happen to us if we meet again and got a chance to work again..there has been a huge gap for us to catch up with each other....so maybe next time we meet...everything is good...and we'll start new...again thank you...i hope we both find the happiness we are looking for :xD

happy new year!!!!!

goodbye 2011 hello 2012

i am still sad

what a way to end the week and start my weekend...the only JE group that i ever follow and stalk and the reason i am into LJ and blogging..and occupied my time..and help me through my stay abroad...broke my heart into pieces...

yes..they did not disband..but the 2 pillars of the group withdrew from NEWS....yamapi and ryo...

it is not really surprising...my favorite JE group has been stagnant for the last two years...and me and the rest of the NEWS fandom patiently waited even just for a single or an album...we will be glad...but when i read the news about the withdrawal....i was like...is this true????then i got sad and mad and disappointed...mad and dispappointment for yamapi and ryo...but more on yamapi..because everyone was expecting he will keep his promise a year ago..saying we will not betray NEWS fans...how come yamapi....were you not touched the fanmade video NEWS fan made and retweeted telling you we are waiting for you....or is it really you cannot take the other members...

and ryo...i can understand you..at least you are apologetic..but but but still...you have managed it..for the last 8 years...and now bammm...you cannot take it anymore....

i am not sorry i made NEWS my favorite group..despite your irrelevancy to Johnny Kitagawa..and despite biasness..i can objectively say you are one of the most talented and promising group in JE that was somehow underrated....and they will always be my favorite group....no matter how many members you have....

all i can say now is...4nin NEWS will have my full support from now on..im not really a fan of solo works now...i know as group...i will support you as group...so

GAMBARE NEWS....we will be waiting for the new NEWS to shineeeeeee.....

i have too much on my mind....

just finished watching SCP Premium with Tegoshi and another japanese artist as guest...i am not sure if its really been a long time since i have my fave pretty boy in JE that watching him on that show...i think he has grown up..on most interviews i always find him intimidating or over confident....though i know my love for him has really went down the drain..mwahahaha...

from being someone who i obsessively love way back before..i managed to maybe mature or became immature as a fan of him...i dont really follow him as a solo artist anymore...i always watched his shows if massu is there..if not...i just read posts or blogs about it...and despite his flaws..somehow i managed to oversee it if he is with massu...

but watching him now..im not sure if they are really rested or whatever..but he seems happy..and healthy...and i kinda like it..massu despite his weird fashion sense..still never ages..and manages to surprise me...and really I LOVE TEGOMASU...and im looking forward to watching them in japan this december...

yey..for surviving six months in my work in the phils...and yey..for being able to travel to korea...and what else...yey for the trip in japan...in december...

i have too much on my mind..that i lost track of themmm but one thing..i miss my tegomasu friend that i flail tegomasu...and i miss mama gay and mama jade....*sighs*

*sighs*...this was supposed to be happy...but i dont feel like being happy right now

*sighs*....i really kinda feel sad..i almost can feel..that nobody loves tegomasu anymore huhuhuhu..except for a few people who arent close to me...first there was van...then iolekei..then misa...and now katrina...well i can be guilty of distracting myself with other fandom...but i make it sure i am updated with tegomasu...but that is thanks to katrina(who will now focus on kisumai especially since they are promoting their single in the phils) that i am updated..i just feel so sad and lonely...waaaaaahhhhhhhhh..

sometimes it hurts when people who you had the chance to flail with..suddenly does not want your idol anymore...but life changes i know..and it will take sometime getting used to...

i am still looking forward to the chance i will have in december to watch tegomasu in concert..i am not sure...what will be the outcome..if i will love Tegoshi or Massu more...but at i wont be left wondering anymore how they sound live...because i will get to watch them infront of me..yey for that...

i dunno what to think anymore..i dont want to be sad...because there is nothing i can do..life change..people change..i am just lucky i was given the chance to know them :D

*sighs*

thank God...and it's such a long time..

from my previous..THANK GOD..i now have work.....its one of my previous company..and it was not under him..hihihihihi..but another project....it was a new challenge..new friends...getting busy again...but still missing living alone...hihihihi..and of course the convenient of having your home near your office..i usually spent 2 hours everyday for the commute...and i can say..im getting used to riding bus again in the city..despite missing the open window buses in dalian....

God has never left me all through the times i was jobless....i have a friend whom i turned to financial help..when im down..but there are too many lessons learned this time that i dont want it to happen again....

so many things have happened since the last time i posted...but of course...on most cases i was really busy...coping up with my new work..since it was really a slightly different one from last time..and the expectation from me...is how do i say..stressful..mwahahhaa...

in fandom...i think...since there are not much happenings with NEWS and Tegomasu not until recently they announced their 3rd live tour..which made me too happy and planning to watch it with kei..we made plans already..with God's blessing im sure it will push through.. and im excited for it...but well...i love TegoMasu still but i dont really follow any solo stuff they do...i think my being starstrucked with Tegoshi is gone too..i love him still..but i love him more if he is with massu...than anything else...and i can say...i am not a diehard fan of him anymore...i still love him..enjoyed watching him sing..but thats it...sorry tegoshi..you're not as good as i think you are anymore like before..but thank you still for making me smile...and sometimes it makes me question how can you do that while i cant....and i will still support you and massu..and i can still say..that if ever you and massu decide to be together..i will be one of the happy people :D

im still distracted with my Qmi...I hope i get the chance to watch an SJM concert....*sighs*..i wanna see kyu baby and mimi....

i think my mind is relaxing now...hehehe..the reason i cant sleep..is because of you again...im still clueless why i cant just be casual with everything with you..and why do i feel like..you will still ignore me ...i think i really need to get your picture back...mwahahhaa...im not really inlove with you anymore..more like i feel awkward sometimes..because of what happenened..and i hope before you get back here..in the philippines and got the chance to meet again..i can meet you with a smile..not awkward....

uggghhh

uggggh....i dont know..what to think anymore..its like im trying so hard not to think about my application in my previous company...but still i cant help to be positive i will land a position a there...my patience is running out....

i have been not working for two months now....im being pissed off..at the way the lifestyle of my parents have not yet changed ever since i went out of country...and im scared to adapt to it again...i want my own room back...huhuhuhu...

PLEASE GOD HAVE MERCY ME ON ME...LET ME HAVE A JOB by NEXT WEEK...

THANK YOU....